Why is Scottish Labour anti-Independence?
I’m twenty six years a card-carrying SNP member to the day, but I don’t know whether to feel proud and loyal, wise and worthy, Cybernatty and caustic, or juist auld and decrepit. In this long time I’ve had to manoeuvre round a guid few argumentative creatures, oh yes, and mony’s the scheme, in vain, has been laid to stop or scaur me on my travails and meanders up oot o’er the distant Cumnock Hills by those of my acquaintance with different views. There’s been a few canty toddles doon Loudon too though with people I’ve helped to examine their own thoughts in search of as close to truth as any of us gets, by loss of blood or want of breath. With my wily guile and handsome coupon, I am match for anyone. ”Wha daur meddle wi’ me?” I’ve asked myself more than once as I’m left standing at the bar, alone, with plenty of time and space to muse o’er drooth’s desire.
But if it is yer staff that keeps ye sicker on the hillside, it is yer membership card that steadies and separates (sorry Joan) ye from yer average Bruce Forsyth. My wee yellow card has been the level constant as I float higher or sink lower dependent on System Three waves; it’s been paper, cardboard and plastic in its time, but it’s been the only card for me since I was a sensible loon. There are many good reasons for not committing yourself to the collective responsibility of a political party, but camaraderie isn’t one, and because of this I’ve committed myself twice to a card: once to Labour for a few years, and lang syne to the SNP. I’ve got huge sympathies with Labour values and humble Labour people, but I just can’t buy into the obligatory angrily pro-Union bit. It is their Ochills’ hillfoot heel.
A *Fish and Chip’s £4.95 inc. Tea* type apostrophe-hell makes my greasy blood boil, but it is far more grammatically and morally offensive for The People’s Party to bastardise itself into The Peoples’ Party. Wake up ya dafties! This is The Scottish People’s Referendum whether ye like it or no’. You are making no bloody sense and you are speaking in tongues to those who have ears to hear but like it straight! Why are you anti-Indy? And don’t dare give me the stronger tethered / weekend a cart-horse dung! I mean, why, as a movement, are you against a people’s movement? Against another political party treading on yer red-ish star, nae borra, but who the feck decided that The People’s Party should be for or against Independence for Scotland? It wasn’t Kier ‘Dunblane Roundabout’ Hardie. It wasn’t any of the ither early socialist Fathers as far as eh ken. Who the hell did make that clinical decision, that stupid undemocratic insane decision that is force-fed down every Partyboy and Partygirl’s throat from birth, brainwashing the poor little mites into the very *Us Scots and Them Scots* syndrome that wanky pretend socialist internationalists abhor? As a counter, I well remember a *Scotland United Will Never Be Defeated* chant with Senator Geo Gallowayo trying to lead that shit mantra in Geo Square post 1992, but it was anti-Tory. Has anti/pro-Union ever gone to a Conference vote? Answers on the back of a hammer and sickle postcard please. (Note: For younger Labour readers the hammer and sickle was a symbol used to represent the unity of workers back long ago in the silly old days before New Labour. Editor)
I have to wonder when the first glimpse of a protracted debate from a clever Nationalist intelligencia first creeped oot from the aul’ style Tartan Tatties, because I missed it through drinking to excess. But that glimpse was noticed elsewhere though, a glimpse that gave Labour such a genuine fright that it germinated a scary seed in the professional politicians’ sozzled slumber. A dreamy seed that propagated a nightmare where the golden swill in the Westminster trough would decline because someone was welding a drain on the end of it; that glimpse that made them so fiercely and pathetically pro-Union to protect their hard won standing with the expense accounts, directorships, positions and titles that goes with MPdom, along with your speaking fees efter ye’ve chucked it. Was it 1973 or ’78 or ’92 or ’97 or only in 2007 that they happened to take the SNP seriously? I divn’t kna and I almost divn’t care. But happen it did.
All I’m sure of is that The People’s Party reasoning, if reason there is, against Independence for Scotland is nothing to do any any left-leaning cause. If you were vegetarian and lived in a town where meat-scoffers could force you to eat a sassage or twa, wouldn’t you prefer Veggie Village where yer local Asda aisles were fu’ o’ nuts and leafy delights? Thus, when I witness tearful Lefties mock-sobbing o’er any bleedin’ Right Wing victory in an election or simple debate, I wipe their tears gently with a horseshoe-loaded boxing glove and whisper “David Cameron sends his love and thanks” In Scotland we could have any government of any hue we like at any time if it was not for the Labour Party. And it would be the Labour Party in Scotland who would benefit most, and from their guidance and hmmm political brilliance the whole of Scotland would benefit too. So who in Labour would profit from Scotland remaining in the Union? Ed Millionaire and the Shadow Cabinet certainly, they love the numbers but pay the English electorate cost when the gloomy Shadow Cabinet is filled with shadowy Scots and that must help them to lose English votes.
But here’s my answer to my own question: these shadows are the ghouls in the Labour who benefit personally most from the Union. Where else could Douglas Alexander get paid well over £100K plus extras plus expenses plus an almost certain Lordship of Gleniffer Braes? Selling motors at Arnold Clark’s? Where else could Lord Foulkes come to national and fiscal prominence and be given air time for his unfettered ego?
Where else could Margaret Curran and her Scottish Office shadow cabinet reap in bales and bales of Bank of England bounty for doing feck all? Look at these names: Cathy Jamieson, Russell Brown, Gemma Doyle, Tom Greatrex, Ian Murray, Anne McGuire, Gregg McClymont, Fiona O’Donnell and William Bain. Have you heard a dicky bird from any since October 2011 when Mags trumpeted them as the new loud Westminster brass section who were going to see Scotland’s interests played over ClassicUKPoliticsFM?
Margaret Curran introduced her new Bravehearts on 10th October and parped that they would “do the right thing in standing up for Scotland”. Eh? Hello! Where are yooooooooooo (breath) ooooooo? I’ll tell ye where they are: in the morning they’re sitting on their arses plodding through a Scottish heehaw getting served up good honest English breakfasts with a tot o’ rum to keep ‘em quiet. It is as pathetic as it is unbelievable that these lazy sloths see themselves as standing up for Scotland, whereas the post afternoon nap truth is simple: in the evening they are gorging at Mrs Nero Curran’s couch feast snapping doon a grape or two with turtle beaks and getting fu’ on any posh fortified wine they can get, only standing up for ablutions. They are using silence to fight for the Union. Why, is there nothing to say?
Labour are anti-Independence because it does not suit the decision makers in the People’s Party to be for it and the ardent Labour voter actively derides Independence like a bairn copies his maw. The Labour professionals’ political mortgages are paid every month by the Union. Without the Union they are politically bankrupt, and morally their jobs and careers are made redundant. There’s the #indyref contradiction, but are Labour concerned by contradiction? Nope. Contradiction ‘R’ ‘Em. They feast on it like a pussycat on a deid fish, and they thrive on it. They love it and celebrate it with some Glasgow vs Liverpool poverty shite. It’s not Glasgow vs Liverpool at all you fraudsters, and if some lunatic near Anfield wants to take a sweetie oot a bairn’s mooth and post it to Anniesland I would have them jailed for at least 30 years.
Ach well, another shit rant finished. Any cat left listening?
“Eh juist another wee Jägermeister and milk please chief. Ane for yersel’? Oh just the wan then, I’m on my own. Yes, again thanks.”